‘Desire without attachment to outcome’.

It sounds like a paradox doesn’t it?

I mean what is the point of wanting something if you don’t care whether or not you get it?

However, there’s a big difference between caring about an outcome and being attached to it.

The feeling of wanting something can manifest in two ways:

 

1. Our mind is focused on the thing we want.

We have an awareness of what it looks like when we have it.   We feel excited and motivated

2. Our mind is focused on the thing we want.

We have an awareness of our current lack of it.  We feel miserable and anxious

The first reaction creates thoughts, feelings and sensations that make us feel good and when we feel good, we are in a space where we are able to appreciate what we have NOW, what’s happening around us and therefore operate from a point of gratitude and positivity.

The second reaction creates thoughts, feelings and sensations that make us feel bad and when we feel bad, we are unable to appreciate what we have now or what’s happening around us and we therefore operate from a point of fear and negativity.

The second reaction is a version of attachment.

Attachment is when our entire state of being becomes wrapped up in a future desired outcome, to the extent that it impedes our ability to enjoy the pursuit of it.  The destination becomes the important thing and the journey, which can often be as fulfilling (and often even more so), becomes painful, impeding on our ability to notice people, circumstances and opportunities that might get us there.

When we are able to want something without being fixated on getting it, we release our attachment to the outcome and this enables us to focus on what we have now and want in the future, rather than what we don’t have yet.

Intimate relationships are a good example of this. 

Many people find their partner when they have given up on love.  That’s because they become ‘unattached’:  They are not experiencing negative thoughts, feelings and sensations when they think and talk about relationships.

Desire is important, as is having an sense of what it looks and feels like when you have what you want.  Clearly, goals and planning play a part in getting there, but equally, so does going with the flow and being open to the possibility that what you want may not turn out to be exactly what you think it is…

 

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